Gotta Have a Plan

 

The last time I saw him, he was standing at the bus stop with his wife of many years.  Dressed, as usual, in a suit and tie and a sensible mackintosh, he was holding the empty shopping basket and staring straight ahead.  He looked miserable.

He had retired the day before, from a 40 year career to which he was devoted.  He had a long-distant relationship with his wife, marginal relationships with his children, few friends and no hobbies.

The next day, he was dead.

This is a cautionary tale.  This poor working stiff retired and the very next day, dropped dead.  His life over.  His hope gone.  Dead.

What he really needed was a plan.  That's the bottom line.  It's the difference in braking styles; either you're a Formula 1 racing car driver who skids across the finish line at 90 miles an hour and slams into a brick wall, or you're a day tripper, poodling along at the speed limit and slowly easing the brake a good 300 meters out from the Yield sign to give yourself plenty of room to stop.   

When you're 22, you start your savings, paying yourself first and socking away every little bit.  "Don't count on Social Security," my bank manager laughed as she made me sign the paperwork to get deductions pulled from my slender paycheck.  "You'll thank me for this," she added.  She was right.  

Without sufficient finances you ain't never gonna retire.  Once that's taken care of, you can relax secure in the knowledge that you probably won't end up destitute and/or a burden to your children.  While being a burden to your children is part of the plan, it won't come until later - when you've spent all your savings on fast living and cheap wine.

Next, you need to come up with a list of things you would like to do with all that free time.  This is where your hobbies and interests come into play.  You must have interests; it's like caffeine and keeps you alert.  Think of hobbies as Prozac.  Both will keep you busy, and possibly sane in the last 1/3 of your life. 

I had a friend who retired and immediately set up a little business. He used his large collection of wine corks to make placemats.  It's a novel idea, it gave him an excuse to drink copious amounts of the grape, and it took him to his shed every day.  It's not what I would do (make cork placemats) but he had a plan.  And it made him happy.

More importantly, he lived years beyond the first day of retirement.

So you see, you really do need a plan.

I have met with my therapist many times over the past year to discuss the future.  I reel off the latest retirement ideas, and she takes notes in case we forget what they were.  I ended up with several detailed plans: A through F.  They're pretty much the same, but the order is different.  Do you lead with your strengths, with your interests or leave it to the universe to decide?

I have big ideas - like visiting all the USA national parks (possibly in a caravan, maybe a cabin definitely not a tent or the back seat of the car).  We began preparing for this over the past two years and while we have narrowed down the sleeping arrangements, the idea is on hold as John needs to retire first.  Makes sense.

Then there were the smaller but no less important ideas.  Carried out on a daily basis, they give me a reason to get up in the morning.  These ideas, in no particular order, include writing a book, introducing some form of daily exercise consistently into my life, taking a master gardening course, painting a picture, tapping into every free event, outing or activity I can find, working a limited amount of substitute teaching and possibly starting a tutoring business.   I will also devote copious amounts of time to naps, tea and books.  Oh, and since they have changed their fine policy, I will also get a library card.

Not to be overlooked are the annoying elements of the plan: a dirty, cluttered house to attend to, a child who has boomeranged home and seems to be going through a second childhood, and hanging out with my dear old parents, Teddy Boy and the Queen Mum*** 

So with my plan in hand, I have begun to execute some of the ideas.  The Grand Tour is on hold, but we have been biting off pieces of local national parks, to keep the dream alive.  I have been "reactivated" by my former employer and after fingerprinting, getting my new ID card and signing up for direct deposit, I'm ready to select assignments.  

I'm on the list for the master gardener course, though it might be delayed on account of the fact they currently have no local coordinator.  And my doctor suggested I take a dance class for exercise.  I have decided on belly dancing.

Napping, tea drinking and reading are works in progress.

And 4 months in, I'm still alive....thanks to my plan.

Photo credit: Me and Zoë on my last day as a full-time teacher!

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Disclaimer:  Owing to a serious lapse in judgement, the author mistakenly included her dear old parents in the annoying elements list.  She deeply regrets this error and ardently seeks her dear old parents' forgiveness for this unintended slight.